Listen to my voice – I sound like I’m permanently congested.
T. J. Miller
I wouldn’t want to be Superman. Batman would be cool. But the one I’ve always wanted to play is the Joker. There is a maniacal and dangerous side to me.
T. J. Miller
Life is hard. Not great. Kind of tragic.
T. J. Miller
My face is oblong. But the best grooming is confidence.
T. J. Miller
Comedy gives you a shot of euphoria that distracts you from everything that’s awful.
T. J. Miller
Gentrification always makes me laugh. People complain about traffic. Live in Atlanta! You can’t have it both ways; you can’t live in an incredible city and not expect it to get congested.
T. J. Miller
Slowly but surely, I went through different phases of fame, and each rises you further into isolation and alienation.
T. J. Miller
We’re not a nation divided: we’re a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed.
T. J. Miller
There’s sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy.
T. J. Miller
Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.
T. J. Miller
Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.
T. J. Miller
By the very nature of satire or parody, you have to love and respect your target and respect it enough to understand every aspect of it, so you can more effectively make fun of it.
T. J. Miller
I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles.
T. J. Miller
One of the exciting things about an entanglement puzzle is there’s no end to it. Once you solve how to take it apart, you have to solve how to put it back together.
T. J. Miller
I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life.
T. J. Miller
I can’t stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant.
T. J. Miller
Hosting is a thankless job.
T. J. Miller
When you get into a car, and there’s trash, or it’s dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you’re like, ‘Come on, dude.’ Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, ‘I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.’ That’s what I recommend: Act like you don’t care, but take care of your body.
T. J. Miller
I don’t know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don’t think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does.
T. J. Miller
Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering.
T. J. Miller
I acted in high school and studied at the British American Drama Academy in Oxford for one summer. I minored in theater, and I was always acting growing up and stuff, but really, I was just more interested in the comedy of it all. So for me, it’s always comedy, and then acting is just one medium of comedy.
T. J. Miller
If you’re a psychologist, you can instrumentally change peoples lives for the better. But you can only do that for about 300 people to maybe a thousand people – if you’re really prolific and you’re working really hard.
T. J. Miller
I’m a Nietzschean scholar. I’ve read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism.
T. J. Miller
I don’t prepare for anything very well. I am not a good actor. I don’t read scripts.
T. J. Miller
There’s nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I’m nominated for an award – that is so funny to me.
T. J. Miller
Yogi Bear’ changed my life in ways that I can’t explain because it’s not a full feature on me. ‘Yogi Bear’ – there’s everything before ‘Yogi Bear,’ and there’s everything after ‘Yogi Bear.’ Like a major car accident, or the birth of Christ.
T. J. Miller
I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers.
T. J. Miller
People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars.
T. J. Miller
I don’t believe in alcohol. It’s a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I’m not a gambling man.
T. J. Miller
There’s nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I’m nominated for an award – that is so funny to me.
T. J. Miller
I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers.
T. J. Miller
I have perfectly symmetrical ankles.
T. J. Miller
I acted in high school and studied at the British American Drama Academy in Oxford for one summer. I minored in theater, and I was always acting growing up, but really, I was just more interested in the comedy of it all.
T. J. Miller
I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff.
T. J. Miller
I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.
T. J. Miller
I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I’d work as a gaffer on something.
T. J. Miller
Stuff that I write isn’t as similar to the stuff that I’m in, but I don’t really care. I just do comedy.
T. J. Miller
There’s sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. But I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff.
T. J. Miller
I feel a strong affinity to Ke$ha and Katy Perry and a lot of these women who are really pushing the girl power femme fatale thing. It’s fun, and it’s unapologetic, and they tell women they can do whatever they want, and that’s true, and that’s a message that I want to carry, to tell girls they can do whatever they want.
T. J. Miller
I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer.
T. J. Miller
I don’t really know how to act that much. I’m quite good at comedy, but it’s mostly acting naturally.
T. J. Miller
I love mispronunciations. I love when people mispronounce things.
T. J. Miller
You just put yourself into your work, and you can do anything you want, depending on how hard you want to work for it.
T. J. Miller
My father really told me, seriously, if you want something, you can have it, but you may have to work harder than anyone else around you.
T. J. Miller
I don’t sit and write stand-up material; I come up with an idea onstage.
T. J. Miller
Always remember: My general theme is ‘There is no message.’ There never has been. Stop trying to find the message or the meaning in everything. That’s. My. Theme.
T. J. Miller
It’s always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it’s actually going to be!
T. J. Miller
Everybody asks me what it was like to be in my underwear for my network television debut.
T. J. Miller
Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird.
T. J. Miller
It doesn’t matter to me if I’m in love with my performance, so I watch all of my performances to understand and learn from them and figure out what’s working and what’s not. And I see the movies that I’m in in the theater a lot.
T. J. Miller
I’m always so amazed by which performances work really, really well and which ones don’t. But I think it’s just mostly, ‘She’s Out Of My League,’ so many people saw that movie on DVD and on the plane. Just millions of people saw that movie. That’s the reason I’m somewhat famous.
T. J. Miller
I care less about selling tickets and getting Twitter followers than I do about making as many people laugh as I can. I’d rather make people laugh than make them know who T.J. Miller is.
T. J. Miller
It’s much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren’t really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, ‘That’s not funny; this guy is crazy,’ then I don’t want them to come to the show anyway.
T. J. Miller